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The current period represents a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop communication with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes pointless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more deranged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed breakdown to the words Zoomers is using to discuss love, sex and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – For gen Z, dating’s ideal is presenting as your true, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your date's reply is interested or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This means going for someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A outing where two people bond while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to partners who choose against parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. For instance calling their exes crazy, poor tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits affirm your decision to pursue a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and usually everyday dealbreakers that immediately kill any sense of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic display.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {